Hate Letters
by Aniesa
Summary: “I have realized that many Harry Potter fans have a problem with me… Since there are so many ‘Draco Malfoy Haters’ out there, I have decided to open this mail line.”
1. Hate Letters

Summary: "I have realized that many Harry Potter fans have a problem with me… Since there are so many 'Draco Malfoy Haters' out there, I have decided to open this mail line."

Draco Malfoy has been receiving many hate letters recently, but what is he going to do about it? Well, he decided that he should answer it!

Disclaimers: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters, particularly Draco Malfoy. JK Rowling does. She is so lucky…

A/N: I don't know what you guys think of this…Oh well, it's one of my attempts to satisfy my readers…I…just don't know if it works…

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I have realized that many Harry Potter fans have a problem with me. What's so good about the Stupid-Boy-Who-Lived anyways? I am smarter, handsomer, sexier, and have more brains than that dope have all together. At least I don't go around the school with a sign on my back saying 'Kill me.' I am a Slytherin, not stupid, like those Gryffindorks. So if you don't like my snide remarks towards the Pothead, "Piss off!" and don't waste your time complaining about it.

Since there are so many 'Draco Malfoy Haters' out there, I have decided to open this mail line. Here are some recent mails I have been getting from Potter's 'fans,' all trying to defend him and his pathetic friends and telling me to 'sod off.' 

I was so nice to have replied to them.  
  
Here is a letter sent to me from Lou Singman, from London, England.

My comments are in **bold.**

*****

Dear Draco Malfoy, **He can spell my name! At least you're not an imbecile.**

I'm going to get right to the point **I take back my remark.** You are a prick. **A sexy prick.** You are just jealous that Harry Potter is more famous than you are **Oh sure, I would love to be trampled by stupid idiot fans like you**, and he is nicer too. **In an idiotic way?** So don't go saying bad things about people **Only people like you who don't have a life** when you know you will be hated for it. **And you think writing hate letters to me is not saying bad things? **Get a life! **Aw thank you for your useless advice. Unlike you, I DO have a life.** Many people don't care about you **Tell that to all the graveling girls with shrines in their closets worshiping me**, so why don't you just go to hell? **I would, but I heard only people who write hate letters go to hell. I wouldn't want to meet you there. **

Do you know that Harry saved your sorry arse **Really? When? Oh yah…all the time he's out getting himself killed, and blaming it all on me** so many times during your school years **Right. First year, Pissed off the Dark Lord. Second, Pissed off the younger version of the Dark Lord. Third, went on a murderous streak to save a convict. Fourth, he couldn't get enough fame so he decided to enter the Tri-wizard Tournament…then piss off the Dark Lord. And fifth, he killed all of the Dark Lord's servants. Does that have anything to do with me? I don't think so**, and probably more in counting? **Damn right.**

He can kick your ass anytime **Sure, after he builds some muscles and grow up first** but he is just being nice **In what way?** and letting you feel as if you have hurt him. **I did hurt him. I heard he was crying later on to his friends.** He is a great hero, **And a great enemy and git too. Aw, isn't he popular?** and is loved for it so much **Except for those that hate him of course**. Many people appreciate him **I would appreciate him if he trips and fall down the stairs**, even if you don't. **I do appreciate him…appreciate all of the dumb stuff he have done to brighten up my day with his idiocy. **

You really need to get a life. **Didn't you say this already? You are so original.** I mean you even have your own page where you answer people hate letters to you. **At least, I'm not the one writing the letters.** Why don't you go and teach your stupid friends how to talk properly **Yah, but they are already beyond hopeless** instead of wasting your time on this? **Like you? **You would be doing something good for a change **Change is bad, so how can I do something good be good?** and god knows those two lugs need all the help they can get. **Why don't YOU help them instead of writing all of this? Since you seem to love and care about them so much, but I guess that proves how desperate you are for friends.**

Speaking of friends **Who you don't have, and that's why you are spending your time doing this**, stop calling Hermione a Mudblood! **What is she then? At least she isn't a squib.** She is far more smarter than you will ever be. **Making friends with Potter? Smart? Getting killed along side with Potter, smart?** So what if she is a muggle-born? **Lets see, that means she's dirty???** This just proves that pure-bloods isn't the best **And you think Mudbloods and Muggles are?** Hermione is probably beating you in everything **Just because you think her brain is huge under her so called bushy hair, doesn't mean that there is anything in it.**

And what do you have against Ron anyway? **He's a Weasel. That's what.** He is nice and cares for his family a lot **Their family needs all the love they can get considering how poor they are**. He is not completely poor! **No, but at the point of it.** At least he has a family that loves him, unlike yours. **At least I can have anything I want and have decent clothes to wear.  **

If I had magic, **Finally admitting you're a pathetic muggle?** I would have use the killing curse on you already when you were in the first year. **How dumb are you? I don't know what your problem is, but I bet it's hard to pronounce. **

Sincerely,

                                                                             Lou Singman   
                                                                       **Your name says it all**

*****

I'm not too worried. He will return and read this. These stupid muggles, I don't know why I am bothering to interact with them. I need some aspirins…or at least a really strong Migraine Potion.

*****

A/N: Totally appreciate it if you review. Tell me if you want me to make another one or not. I don't think I can take too much criticism though, so be nice. Well…a little criticism is okay.


	2. Hate Letters

Summary: Another one of those "Harry Potter fans" and "Draco Malfoy haters" letter. And as always, Draco will do something about it. But even if it's not physically, emotionally and verbally is okay.

Disclaimers: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters, particularly Draco Malfoy. J K Rowling does, but what I wouldn't give to own even just a tiny little bit of them.

Author's Note: You guys are the best. Big thanks to all of you whole reviewed this. I am deeply grateful. Trust me. I was all giggly inside. I couldn't stop giggling.

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Another day, another hate letter, and of course, another person with a problem, that affects their brain permanently, called "Potteritus". A disease so terrible that makes a person think and say something stupid about…well, everything, exactly like Potter. Note the name of the disease.

Honestly, don't these people have lives? 

Again, I was so nice to reply, and like always, my comments are in **bold.**

*****

Draco Malfoy,

I hate you.** Got right to the point I see.** What is up with you and Harry Potter anyway?** Nothing really, but the sight of him makes me want to throw up.** What have you got against him? **His stupidity bothers me. **You spend too much time plotting against Harry Potter **You spend too much time making fun of me,** or at least try to **Or at least try to**. And what do you get out of it? **I get my kicks AND I got to piss you off (and it's working too). **Nothing. **Still working.** You seriously need a hobby.** Look who's talking?**

One thing I don't get is **Just one?** why would some authors bother pairing you, the King of Prats, **I thought I was known as the Sex God?** with someone so nice and kind ***cough cough* **like Harry Potter. **This, I agree with you. I am hot, sexy, gorgeous, and handsome, while Potter is messy, stupid, and a muggle-lover. Any connection between his reality and mine is purely coincidental.** And make Harry like you too! **You should see him following me like a dog on a leash. If I throw him a stick, he'll probably will run and fetch it for me. **That is just gross! **His face? Hell yah!**   
  
  
  


You're not even THAT good looking. **And how would you know that? I bet you've never been close, let alone speak, to a good-looking person before. Your expectations are way too high considering it's you. You will be single forever.** What with you're platinum blonde hairs. I bet your bleached it. **It's full out natural and you're just jealous of it, because you cannot have hair as nice as like mine. **It makes you seem like you have gray hair already** And how would you know this? Unless you already DO have gray hair**, and you are only 17? 18? years old. **And you are what? Ugly? Lame? Or demented?**   
  
  
  
  


So I'm not a big fan of blonde hair people. **No, but you are a big fan of stupid people, and just to point out, nobody cares what you like or not.** Some people **A LOT of people** might like you and your 'bad boy' image,** Who wouldn't? Even I can't resist myself** but I think it's all a bunch of crap. **Like what's coming out of your mouth?**   
  
  
  
  
  
I bet you are just a frightened little boy who has been deprived of his childhood.** And you are a sad little girl who has been deprived of a life and friends.**

Anita Lyfe,

                                                                                                  **My point exactly.**

 Liverpool, Nova Scotia

*****

Stupid muggles. I mean, don't they have better things to do? Ow. Ow. Headache again.

  
*****

A/N: You don't know how much it would mean to me if you reviewed this. So please review.

I think this will be my last hate letter to Draco Malfoy, because I don't feel like it is going anywhere. But I do hope that you guys liked it just a little bit and hopefully had a little laugh. I'm planning on writing an actual proper story next time. SO, hooray! 

But…I have to admit something. * Looks down on the floor shyly. * The fanfic that I just finished is just for fun. I DO like Draco Malfoy, but I also do like Harry Potter. Umm…so to make my explanation short…I am a Harry/Draco fan. So, I would understand that some of you might be mad at me. Sorry.


	3. Hate Letters

**Disclaimers:** Me? Own? Ha! Draco Malfoy, Pansy Parkinson, Vincent Crabbe, Gregory Goyle, and Harry Potter belongs to JK Rowling. I only own the characters who wrote the letters.  
**Summary:** "I have realized that many Harry Potter fans have a problem with me… Since there are so many 'Draco Malfoy Haters' out there, I have decided to open this mail line."

Draco Malfoy has been receiving many hate letters recently, but what is he going to do about it? Well, he decided that he should answer it!

**Author Notes: **Yes, another one. There were some requests for more, so here you go. This is dedicated to everyone who had reviewed these before. I thank you you guys so much for staying with me.

* * *

Such a shame for me to be inside on this bright day just to answer these hate mails regarding how much I 'suck'. I, even admit myself that that is a little sad, but I guess it is better to be answering mails from my very own 'Hate Groupies' than to be with Crabbe and Goyle, who are currently choking down their one-week-old sandwiches hidden under their beds or with Parkinson, who always tries to smother me with kisses from her overly-used pair of lips (if you get what I mean). The thought of it makes me shudder!

Of course, there are more letters that are addressed to me, but I only pick out the ones that really deserve to be made fun of, such as this one that you can read later. It's not so much as I _want_ to insult them, but they are just asking for it. How dare anyone make fun of moi?

Anyway, with not much further ado, again, my answers are in **bold** and in **_italics_**.

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Dear Dorko Malfoil, **_Even though my eye is twitching, I am going to let it go._**

It has come to my intention that you are writing bad stuff back to the people who wrote you letters expressing what they feel about you. **_And I am expressing on how I feel about them._** **_Of course, now on you too. _**Have you ever thought that maybe, you deserved it? **_No, I never thought of that before, but thank you for asking._** Or maybe that we live in a world of freedom of speech and are allowed to express our opinions of one another? **_Then too bad for the world I live in where I don't give a damn with what they think._**

There is enough hate in the world around, **_Then why are you telling me this? Why don't you tell the people who actually started all of this in the first place? The so-called 'Haters' _**and by insulting the people who made fun of you, you are just making it worst. **_Please, tell me more, oh wise one! Teach me the way of being an annoying prick!_** Now, I'm not trying to sound smart **_You know, a sharp tongue is no indication of a keen mind. _**or mature or anything, but what you are doing is wrong. **_Whoever told you that my dear, couldn't be even _more_ wrong._**

What if I came up to you **_I wouldn't let you in the first place._** and told you, you have an ugly pointy shaped face and wig like hair? **_I would punch your face so even your mother wouldn't recognize you. _**And what if I told you that you are way too melodramatic **_Then I would kick your ass all the way to Bermuda. _**and nobody cares for your whininess **_And no one cares for your bossiness._** because it is so damn annoying! **_Because you are a girl with no life, and goes out to bars each night, in hopes that guys would be so drunk to sleep with you._**

Oh jeez, now you have gotten me started. **_Me too. _**It seems that everything about you bothers me! **_We do have a lot in common after all. I think the same to you._** Your stupid smirk, **_TRADEMARK smirk if you please. That every girl think is sexy, so if you think it is stupid. You are saying they are stupid too. Who's the hater now?_** constipated looking sneer **_It probably looks better than your smile_**, and the arrogant features, **_Thank you. Also one out of millions that makes me gorgeous sex god. _**and God! Please, don't get me started also on your horrible acting skills **_What are you? A critic too? _**and how much you are such a drama queen!**_ At least I'm something._** What are you? **_Everything you are not. _**A girl? **_My point exactly._** Especially, with your 'oh, look at my gorgeous body and handsome face' **_I am pretty, aren't I? _**…How self-centred are you? **_Not including the many that worships the ground I walk on…not very._** It's surprising how you even have friends! **_At least I have friends. _**Let alone a few. **_Who are all loyal and takes heed with everything I say. You wish you could be like me. _**Aw, poor wittle Dwako only has a few fwends **_Sarcasm won't get you far, you know_**…Here's 5 cent. Now go buy yourself a few more friends. **_Here's 20 cents. Call all your friends and bring back some change! _**

I can't believe I am saying all of these things, **_I can't believe you are still alive after saying all of these things about me _**which are against everything I believe in. **_Sucks to be you…seriously. _**You know what Draco Malfoy? These letters DO belong to you.**_ You know, the thing that terrifies me the most is that someone might hate me as much as I loathe you right now._** Even people who don't like Harry Potter **_He gets hate mail too? Wow, I never knew that. I bet you wrote to him too, didn't you?_** and like you better, **_Who wouldn't?_** sorry to tell you, but you would STILL get more mails than him. Reality sucks eh? **_For you, maybe, figuring that you are a loner._**

Okay, that was very mean, and I have deep regrets for it **_I have complete satisfaction, saying all of that to you_**, even though I still stand firm on what I just said. **_It's not as if I'm going to push you. _**I just wanted to prove a point to you that it hurts **_Aww, poor baby! Did Draco hurt you too? _**(including the beginning when I called you a "dork"), and that there really isn't any real satisfaction in doing it. **_Oh how wrong you are._** It just makes the other person feel bad **_No really??? _**and all you get is a guilty conscience, knowing that you had made someone cry. **_I feel nothing for anyone._**

Anyway, I hope you take this letter as a good thing and not bad. **_Keep talking, I always yawn when I am interested. _**It would help you with your personality, **_Don't worry about _my** **_personality. You should worry about yourself more. _**and I know this really good place where you can go to make it better! I also know a good plastic surgeon too. It would do you good for a nice facial change. **_You have too many problems…and I'm not just talking about with other people. _**Either than that, have a good day. **_You are definitely the kind of person who, when one first meets you, one doesn't like you, but when one gets to know you better, one _hates_ you._**

Sincerely yours,

Bea Otch  
_**Nice name. It suits you.**_

_**After talking to you, I've decided I am in favor of abortion in cases of incest!**_

**_- - - - -_**

_Mon Dieu!_ With a letter like that, I definitely need to go steal –I mean _borrow_ one of Potter's letters (because I am sure he has some) to see if it is as bad as mine.

* * *

**Author Notes:** Thank you so much for keeping with my so far (again). I know you guys wanted more so I wrote more, so now, please review and tell me what you think! I would so appreciate it.  
I wonder though, if you guys realized that I played with the names of the people,who wrote the letters. If you say it fast together, it is actually a diss to their name too...like this one...since it is a little obvious. 


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